Monday, March 2, 2015

When Your Day Screams Back At You

     I was all set to post pics from our most recent vacation (for some of us) to parts north.....until we hit a detour. This blog and family is about keeping it real. Real family means real struggles. When you throw adoption issues into the mix sometimes things get just plain hard. Because I don't want to paint a romantic, all rosy picture of what our life is like.....I will take you back to yesterday.
     Yesterday was a typical Sunday. All of us including our  one year old Wubba that spends the night with us on Saturday nights so his parents can channel their musician side for Sunday's worship team,  made it to church on time and even dressed appropriately. Hair was washed (y'all laugh but you'd be surprised) and manners were on. It was a great Sunday.
     Sunday afternoon was typical. The Doc and I went on our date (usually a run....yep, it's where we talk and implement anti-aging protocol all in one fell swoop). It rained. We cut our time short which was ok because I knew we had work to get to at home.
     Nature Girl had a project due for school. It seemed simple enough. She had to build a balloon racer car with certain requirements that didn't seem difficult at all. Science is her thing and The Doc had volunteered to do this project with her knowing it would be a fun one. We always keep our Sunday afternoons free for school. Why? Because it relieves the stress and pressure of an overloaded week if we work ahead and pre-do projects/reports and whatnot. Again, the school the girl's attend (and just happens to be where I also work) is AWESOME but it is highly academic and with some of the girls issues it has become mandatory that Sunday is 'get ahead' day.
     ONLY THE BALLOON RACER TOOK 5 HOURS!!!!!!! Nature Girl and The Doc worked and worked. He's a scientist and the dang car wouldn't perform to specifications set forth on the sheet sent home from school....which weren't hard....in theory.....for 5 freaking hours! Many prototypes later and waaaayyyyy after dark the car was done. However no other school for Nature Girl was accomplished which desperately needed doing.  No, no, bueno because she takes the longest to do her work. We continued to do school well into the night....with the clock ticking. (And this mom pacing.....because well, school wasn't done and the orthodontist is never open on convenient Friday, Saturday or even Sunday now are they and guess where we had to be the next day?? With our work done??)
     Picture frustrated balloon racer people with mounds of tools piled up on the kitchen table....including a power drill, LARGE saw, and wire galore. Gotta hand it to The Doc. He was under pressure because early Monday meant travel for him.....and he hadn't even begun to think about packing or getting ready. Balloon car after balloon car was a dud and he never ever lost his temper or his resolve. The final result worked wonderfully but it sure took a while to get there. Did I mention it took 5 flipping hours??????
     So hopefully you have the picture in your head of what should have been easy project turned evil by now. As I'm watching project workers toil the other two girls were well on their way to getting ahead, and having their little school ducks in a row. I should have known better. You see one of them (not going to throw said child under the bus....no she shall remain anonymous), suffers from low blood sugar 'issues' to put it mildly. I hadn't monitored said child's food intake very well in my efforts to plunge ahead and get work accomplished (I'm very task oriented and a goal setter) which in this case backfired. In other words....I forgot to feed a kid. About halfway through Balloon racer hell.....this kid had a total blood sugar meltdown.....which for this child means tantrum throwing, mean-squared, wall- kicking kind of head-spinning crazy until sugar normalizes. Can be a couple of hours. This one was a doozy....like we haven't seen in some time. Awesome. There went her school 'get-ahead' opportunity along with any sanity I had left.
     Only there's one kid left. During balloon racer trauma, tantrum throwing other kid, the third daughter shuffles up to me with a hand extended weirdly over her eye. This can only mean one thing. Migraine. This particular child suffers from acute childhood migraines. If you have never experienced one.....I pray you never will. It's suffering of the worst kind and usually involves screaming, vomit, need for complete silence, put in a room in total darkness and lots and lots of mom's attention....for hours and hours. This couldn't be happening. But it was. Over the next hour or two...meds were administered....the worst of it passed.....and we lived. It was drama that ended with a giant "whew!"
     The project got done. Monday brought the orthodontist, more school, gymnastics and other appointments. All our school was done on time but not without a whole heck of a lot of stress. During the worst of it I'll have to admit....I was close to tears myself. This was the perfect storm. All three needed major parenting all at the same time. There was no choosing to be done.....and we, the parents, were outnumbered. You see, adopted kids will come with issues as do biological children. Many do not surface until years later as in the migraines. I've come to expect them and not be surprised. However, Monday the sun still came up....I was there to greet it as I'm accustomed to doing being an early riser. We survived the day that screamed back at us.....not well, not even remotely pretty,  and questioning some of my parenting techniques later......but life isn't always neat and tidy wrapped up with a giant bow. This is  especially with children who didn't have neat and tidy beginnings. All you can do is get up and do the next day.....prayerfully with great hope that the one who formed them in their very beginnings is here with you in the messes guiding, providing wisdom and forming them into images of their great Creator God.  The Doc and I are just the vessels being used to make these incredible little people into who they are intended to be. Sometimes our vessels are tired, broken and in need of repair.....and other times we are refreshed and ready. Wherever you find yourself today, look to the one who doesn't shield you from the screaming days.....but holds your hand through them. Yesterday, I had the feeling of being completely at a loss and in an out of control situation.....but in it...when I sought it there was grace. Much much grace. The well never runs dry....that deep sustaining grace that is there for the asking.
     Today was awesome. Stress free (mostly) and all beauties were back to normal......for now. Smile. Onward! (Can someone please book me a weekend in a remote tropical place? Pretty please? A weekend is all I need. Promise!)
   
   

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