Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Mom's Dilemma

Meet our new family member, Rex. He is an adolescent Bearded Dragon....yes, a reptile.
     I've been on a blog break. I will never, ever make it as a professional blogger because I don't follow the 'rules.' So be it. My latest break has been self induced. The Christmas rush always comes like a freight train at 1000 mph and this year was no exception. We had a blast just being and doing family. The Doc's job enables him to be home a lot more yet his schedule can get kind of well.....weird. We had weird throughout the holidays. It's ok as overall it's an awesome move, but all the 'firsts' (birthdays, holidays, etc.) for the next year will be different as we adjust.
     January brought the 'back to school blues.' I LOVE our school....the people there are like family and we can't think of another place we'd rather be. However, the thought of trudging back into all that work (the girls are homeschooled 2 days per week and on campus 3) was overwhelming for me. I need a summer break 2x a year. Why don't we do that, peeps? Winter mental health break. Something to think about....smile.  I become bi-polar the first week of January every year. I have that mental struggle (make that fight) of wanting to get back into the structure of life and move ahead colliding with 'the heck with it all,' lets move to a tropical island and not work and let our kids be illiterate. Know what I mean?? We did 'back to school' though....and did it well..... (I think??!)
     All through my blog break I've been thinking about the best way to proceed. Lots swirling around in my head as to what will be best for the girls. This blog has been about adoption, family and how to make it work. Adoption is hard....adoption is incredible.....adoption can be an enigma as you try and figure out special needs, mental health and well....life. It's a totally different animal .....that can be both redeeming and 'pull your hair out' at the same time. I'm being nice. I'm not typing EVERY thought like I could. This has been a real, messy struggle. I needed to pull back and re-evaluate.
     The girls are getting older which brings in more privacy issues. I'm trying to find the line between telling our story to help others find their way through the maze of issues that can surface at anytime during the process.....and protecting fragile hearts from revealing too much. I'm knee deep in dilemma. So as we move forward......my prayer is to love these girls and serve them first as we walk through their pre-teen/teen years.
All 4 of my girls at a recent trip to the American Girl Store. FUN!
Christmas trip to see the Mouse.
     What I can say is that right now life is awesome. All three are thriving in school (it usually takes us a semester to get to that point).....and they are finding their niches. Nature Girl interviewed for and got a volunteer job at our local Science Center...ON HER OWN....AND came out of the first semester of school with straight A's. I still cannot believe I'm typing that last sentence. There were days when we wondered if she would ever read. Perseverance, tenacity and a whole lot of elbow grease were the key to getting her where she is. For the first time this year we are saying this kid could go on to earn a college degree in the science field. She's come that far. If you need a miracle in your life (which we did).....do not ever negate prayer. We have been on our knees for 13 years now for this kid. God is answering. It took a long time. Never, ever, ever give up. Your knees will have giant dents in them for the remainder of your life but they are battle wounds of persistence.
     Blondie's talents are art, music and writing. She's got an incredible eye for design and could pretty much choose any creative artistic field. Right now she wants to go to culinary school.....which as you can imagine leaves our kitchen in a constant state of tornado. She recently stopped team gymnastics to focus more on developing her passions. The Mom thinks she would make a fabulous author of children's books. Gonna look into that.
The littles. Only missing the Wubba. Love them.
    Then there's Mei Mei. Still tiny at 9 years old....barely 48" tall.....and all loud and mostly mouth.  (Sorry if that sounds disrespectful. If you met her you would seriously agree. She. never. stops. talking. ever.) This kid is going to run the world one day....and not even stand 5 feet tall. We love her beyond measure.... really.....but you have to laugh that God put her in our family. Control is her middle name. We aren't sure if that's a personality issue or an adoption one....or the fact she's the youngest in a big family but this kid could tame the fiercest lion. Mei finished out her competitive gymnastics season with a roar (she is made for this y'all......she is tight, calculating and tactical....oh and short. Very, very short.) In January she has already scored out of the next level and has doubled her training time. Again, a parent dilemma. Do we let her train so much? What is the future for her in gymnastics? The answer for now is to let her. She absolutely, completely loves it and is totally goal driven. We don't know what the future holds but are taking it one day at a time. We love her gym (she switched gyms this year) and the people there. On we go.
     I am still working at the school during the week.....coaching cheer alongside daughter Julie on Fridays and training for a race in March. Running is my sanity (and a fantastic menopause therapy) and as much as I can I make time for it. This party leaves tomorrow to take our school's 4th graders to Williamsburg, Va.,  for the week. People ask me all the time where we get our energy for all of this. Honestly, it really boils down to knowing you are doing what God has called you to do....and laid in front of you. Eating well and getting enough sleep (I know....go ahead and laugh) help too. We are all in the trenches together peeps.....with our struggles, triumphs,  hopes and dreams. One day at a time. We will make it because we are resting on God's promises. Best pillow ever. (These bottom pics loaded funny. Not sure why....but can't fix it now.  Gotta go do math.)

Wubba stays with Mimi every Friday now. Running buddies.


Mei Mei.....doing what she does best. This is the day she got her back tuck on floor. At home we never see her right side up:)