Sunday, March 23, 2014

Fill My Cup Lord…..Before Someone Gets Hurt:)

     There are times when I need a break….then there are times when I NEED a break. Y'all know what I mean? I love my kids, really to the moon and back. I love being and working at our school. I love being a wife. I love still having our older kids very active in our lives and want our grandchildren to have the best possible relationship with me. BUT all that love was threatening to do me in……and I knew I was three screws short of needing padded walls right before our Spring Break.
     The third nine weeks is always a killer for me but this year with traveling, the POX (screamed in capitals) and the always dreaded make-up work put me in the nuthouse. Add to that three extremely needy daughters each with their own set of emotional 'issues', and our family was headed for a train wreck cause this Mama couldn't take or do anymore. Someone was gonna blow. Two of our current 'at home' kiddos are in the throes of adolescence. You know, the stuff that gives you the chills and makes you want to send them to someone else's house to raise until they are done 'adolescing'.  The third has a talking voice OF THE HIGHEST DECIBELS POSSIBLE AND TALKS INCESSANTLY TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN AND EVEN THOSE WHO DON"T. The hubs knew I needed some respite but how to get that when your lives scream ahead at 90mph with no, and I mean no free time (except at 2am….and that's a giant maybe)? 
     We did something we don't normally do. We planned a getaway at the last minute…….to Disney World at Spring Break time.  This is like fingernails on a chalkboard for me cause I like everything listed on a google calendar months in advance. I loved the idea but at the same time….I knew I needed to have a break of 'quiet' for at least part of that time. The very people I am called to serve daily (and who just happened to be going on this getaway with us) are the very people I needed a break from. I needed my cup filled….and I prayed…..cause if you haven't heard, Disney World isn't exactly quiet….and did I mention the crazed people that come to Disney for Spring Break?? (At least Decibel Daughter would fit in because most there operate at the same pre-set loudness level possible.)
     We cleaned the house from top to bottom. We 'pre-did' (yes, sir we did) our projects due next week. We did and put away every itty-bitty scrap of laundry. (Can't you see me cracking that whip??) We grocery shopped for the entire week of our return. ….then we went to Disney World….for Spring Break. (I was still hanging by a thread and hoping I wouldn't hurt somebody…..really y'all, not kidding.)
      Then the hubs did something. Something I didn't ask for. He offered to take the girls for a day so I could do whatever I wanted to…..alone. (These girls are a handful y'all…..no easy feat to do single-parent style)! I took all of 3 seconds to accept his offer. Oh my word, was I ever giddy! It seemed like forever since I'd had solitude….real honest to goodness time with the Lord in a way that only an extended length of time to focus, hear, pray and journal could do. We had picked a new resort to try this time….mostly because all our usual's were booked up. Great and stellar planning on our part….but God was in this from the beginning. We got the quietest resort and hands down one of our favs so far, 'The Caribbean Beach Resort' on Disney grounds. 
       So the first day we were there….off went the hubs and the girls to Animal Kingdom…..and I got what I so desperately needed……a private retreat to rest, renew, pray, listen and hear from God. I camped out in the book of Matthew…..specifically the beatitudes and how they should affect our everyday lives in the now. Powerful stuff. I also read in it's entirety "I Wish You Happy Forever," by Jenny Bowen, founder of Half the Sky. Half the Sky is one of a handful of NGO's licensed to operate in China that provides training for orphanage workers, renovations and supplies in order to provide loving, nurturing care for those left behind in China's orphanages. Jenny and her staff change lives….one at a time. This is my (our) goal too….when we aren't bone tired and worn paper thin.
My view for the day….brought to you by Disney's Caribbean Beach Resort. My new Happy Place.
      I can't even begin to tell you how awesome my now is. I'm ready. I'm re-envisioned. I know my God….I know He's hearing my prayers, my pleas, my heart. I know what we are called to do in our home is far from normal….but with God's strength flowing through our veins there is nothing we can't accomplish. I know I can hear his voice through the mundane of everyday….through the hard….through the weariness of raising special needs daughters. We are watching miracles everyday in the lives of these under our roof. In my weary state I wasn't seeing the everyday miracles through eyes of faith for their futures. God yet again reminded me….one day at a time. One step at a time….recount where I've brought you thus far….and in faith be girded in quiet strength for the future. My cup was filled. God met me where in my weakened state and filled me full of quiet, peaceful heart-rest yet again….and no one got hurt in the process. Win, win, win. Back on track and ready to roll!

P.S. Came home to loud daughter who is still loud. Really, really loud. Adolescent daughters whom know nothing about this blog's existence are currently very, very sweet…..however this seasoned mom knows that can turn on a dime and is prepared….with really early bedtimes and iPod removal. Total first world problems that rock them to the core. Ouch.

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