Friday, May 10, 2013

Dear Moms of Adopted Children

     One day last week one of my girls was especially needy. I could swear that all day she said the word "Mom" at least every 30 seconds. Do the math. By 4:00 in the afternoon I was totally done with the 'Mom....Mom...Mom!" I was about to open my mouth to say something (certainly NOT sarcastic nor anything of the sort of course....no not me, ever!) when this thought struck me again.
     I prayed for this......for years. I prayed for little girls to be brought into our home. I prayed that the lost would be found and their lives would have no more heartache. I prayed that under our watchful eye that these girls would have the freedom to be themselves.....who God intended them to be according to their personalities from the beginning. I prayed for wounds both hidden and apparent to close permanently in the warm embrace of family. I prayed that these girls would have brothers and sisters who accepted them no matter what their race, background or abilities. I prayed that the watching world would notice our family and then themselves want to rescue orphans from their plight by bringing them into forever families. I prayed that the chains of poverty and abuse would forever be taken from the lives of these 3 and others like them. There are so many still out there that need a Mom.......
     In the blink of an eye I no longer cringed when I heard the word Mom that day. For these girls have me.....as imperfect and thoughtless as I can be sometimes. They have a mom. So many children out there don't have anyone they can say that word to..... the simple 3 letter word called Mom. So many ache to hold their own babies, to be called Mom and for whatever reason their bodies won't allow it. Many have lost children and their arms ache to hold them again.....just one time. I was sobered by these thoughts that flew through my brain in the 30 seconds before the next, "MOM!"
     This child that needed me that day had attached finally. It had been a long road with this one. Attachment in adoption is a mountain to climb....sometimes falling off a cliff along the way. Our adoptive kids have been way more work than our bio ones because they are so very needy. Security in primary relationships can take years to forge.....and we had that now. But this day suddenly this one needed me......alot. I turned away from what I desperately needed to be doing and with a smile this time gave her my full attention.....as HER mom.
     A few days ago a friend sent me this post entitled Dear Moms of Adopted Children.  As I read it I had tears streaming down my face because so much of what she writes has been OUR LIFE. Yes, adoption was a choice for us but the trials, struggles and roadblocks along the way are nonetheless hard, difficult and mostly unnoticed by those who haven't been in adoptive parents shoes. I share this today in hopes that this Mother's Day you will encourage someone you know that has adopted. Let them know you see in some small way the sacrifice, the blessings, and the courage that it takes to love these precious children.....to be Mom to those who had none. To be Mom to the hurt while they themselves risked judgement, and probably countless times wondered if they had done the right thing. Yes, this has been us. We've had friends say critical judgmental things square center in the midst of severe difficulty with a child when we sure could've used some help or even just a good word. Encourage each other my friends. Encourage. Maybe you could write your own "Dear Adopted Mom' letter to that special friend who could probably use your help and strength right now......this Mother's Day. I'm planning on sending words of encouragement to a few of my special adoptive friends myself. I pray your own Mother's Day is filled with glorious blessings and you savor the treasure that comes with the word, Mom.

   

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written Cissy. I needed this encouragement tonight given another diagnosis was dropped in our laps this afternoon. Yes, to have someone come alongside and offer a word of encouragement is so life-giving. So few even give our girlie eye contact. It breaks a mom's heart. You are an inspiration to me...I am cheering you on from my corner!! You go girl!! Let's love and honor our girlies with all we've got!
    <3
    Gisele

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