Monday, February 11, 2013

I Wonder If She Knows......

Our Blondie turns10 years old today. I wonder if she knows....Birthmom that is......if she remembers or if she's blocked it out of her mind by disassociation. Ten years ago today we were in the OR with Birthmom as she delivered a beautiful 7lb.15 oz baby girl by C- section. The nurses, knowing the situation handed Blondie to me first.....while Birthmom watched. It was gut-wrenchingly hard yet beautiful. Hard because the stress we felt in this moment was overwhelming. Birthmom was a teen with no family, no job,  no support. She had nothing and she knew it....yet it was in her right to keep this baby. Florida law gives the birthparent 48 hours after birth to choose to retain their parental rights. Would this be the case here even though we had taken care of Birthmom for months now? It was perfectly legal for her to allow us to pay her bills and walk away within those first hours with the baby we had prayed for, thought about and rejoiced over. We were scared. She was terrified yet covered it with a tough street-smart exterior. Two long days passed as friends helped us pass the time at the hospital. We prayed literally on our knees round the clock. I didn't let that baby out of my sight except to sleep a little. At 48 hours on the dot ....she signed. Blondie was carried by us out the back door of the hospital escorted by security.....while Birthmom exited the front. We knew....oh how we knew that with a few words from the mouth of a bedraggled teen we could have left that hospital without a baby. Do you believe in Spiritual Warfare? We had been warring for months for the life of this little one. And now.....with one swipe of a pen she was ours. Amazing grace how sweet the sound. Oh the life this little babe was being spared from! We were standing on holy ground and we knew it.

Today she's 10. I wonder if she knows. I doubt even she could imagine the girl that little baby has grown into. If you talk to any seasoned adoptive parent you know that even the children adopted at birth come with issues. There is so much emotional baggage the adoptee carries that makes the heart hurt. So many things that don't come out in the first few months....ok, years. Yet God is our healer. God is/has healed HER physically, mentally and emotionally.....and she is awesome! Blondie is a life of the party kind of kid. Always has a group of girls around her laughing, joking and LOUD! Last year her teacher gave her the "Thoughtfulness" award for always anticipating the needs of others then meeting them. I cried. She attends to the needs of our house with willing hands and a mother-hen kind of nature that is a joy to watch. This year she decided she wanted to be a gymnast and with the same spunk and gusto she is making it happen. She has yet to make a B or below on her report card. She has given her life to the Lord to shape and mold. This child was rescued from the hands of the enemy and was now being transformed into the likeness of Christ. It is a work in progress as we all are, but the more we bowed in prayer the more our answers are being provided in the changing character of this daughter.

A few months before she was born, the Lord spoke quietly to my soul. He told me that this baby would be a girl.......and this child would be the eyes and ears to her older sister. A few weeks later a sonogram did reveal that this baby was indeed a girl and in the years following we would discover that her older sister was special needs (another story for another day).  I will never doubt that 'the sheep know my voice' as it says in John 10:3. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt God spoke to me that day which has been a calming force in recent years when I was tempted to doubt his goodness and sovereignty in my life. He works in mysterious ways indeed. 

So today....we are grateful. Grateful for the faith embedded in our hearts to care for the weak and fatherless. Grateful for the life and soul of this daughter that could've so easily been an abortion statistic. Grateful to a Birthmom who chose life for this baby.....then chose it AGAIN when she placed her into our arms. We are grateful for 10 years of Blondie who has lit up our lives with her sparkle and zest for life. We can't imagine her not in our lives.  I wonder if she knows?


  1. Oh, Cissy, this made me cry. How I love your family!!!

  2. Beautiful...God certainly knew whose loving arms to place this precious gift into - yours and Scott's. You've been blessed, but she's very blessed to have y'all as parents!! She knows of her Father's love because of the way you and Scott love her. Thank you both for your faithfulness as parents...keep leaving footprints, by the grace of God, for others to follow! Love to all you Vanlue's =)